Our class has been talking about internal and external stories - and how great personal narratives have a bit of both. In this excerpt from Sandra Cisneros' story, Papa Who Wakes Up Tired In The Dark, which parts of the story are internal, and which are external?
Your abuelito is dead, Papa says early one morning in my room. Esta muerto, and then as if he just heard the news himself, crumples like a coat and cries, my brave papa cries. I have never seen my Papa cry and don't know what to do.I know he will have to go away, that he will take a plane to Mexico, all the uncles and aunts will be there, and they will have a black and white photo taken in front of the tomb with flowers shaped like spears in a white vase because this is how they send the dead away in that country. Because I am the oldest, my father has told me first, and now it is my turn to tell the others. I will have to explain why we can't play. I will have to tell them to be quiet today. My Papa, his thick hands and thick shoes, who wakes up tired in the dark, who combs his hair with water, drinks his coffee, and is gone before we wake, today is sitting on my bed. And I think if my own Papa died what would I do. I hold my Papa in my arms. I hold and hold and hold him.
Again, I ask: What parts of the story are internal, and what parts of the story are external? Please comment with your answers.
Make sure to explain your thinking and use more than one sentence.
Thanks!
Ms. Vander Velde
Guest Book
15 years ago
22 comments:
Dear Ms.VanderVelde,
Almost this whole story is internal except for when he talks about when they have to take a black and white picture in front of the tomb with the flowers. Also, when his dad leaves before they wake up then the rest of the story is all internal.
Sincerly'
Kaylee
Dear Mrs. V
The internel was when Papa cried. The external was I think if my own papa died what would I do.
Hamadi
Dear Ms.V,
I think that "If my papa dies what would I do?" that is internal and "Your papa died."external because his dad said it and the internal one is internal because he is thinking inside his own body.Thats what I think!
Your friend,Angelica
Dear Ms.V,
I think that this story is really an internal and external story.It is internal because he thinks to himself.It is external because he talks out loud and so that everyone can hear him.That is why I think this is a great story that grabbed me like that.
Your friend,Lupita
Dear Mrs.V,
An example of a external part of the story is when her Papa stated to cry,because he showed his emotion to the readers.
Your friend,
Ben
Dear Ms.V,
The external piece of Sandra Cisneros' "Papa who Wakes Tired in the Dark" is when Sandra says " Now it is my turn to tell the others. I will have to tell them we can not play we have to be quiet today." The internal piece of Sandra Cisneros' "Papa Who Wakes Tired in the Dark" is when Sandra says " I think what I would do if my Papa died."
Sincerely,
Cheyanne
Dear Ms.V,
Like when the girl thought of her father dying it's internal and when her father crumples like a coat it's external.
I like using the internal and external thing for writing and I usually use external in my writing because I could easily tell how i'm feeling and what i'm doing.
Emilian
Dear Mrs. V
I think that the external part is then as if he just heard the news himself, crumples like a coat and cries, my brave papa cries. I have never seen my Papa cry and don't know what to do. The internal part is I know he will have to go away, that he will take a plane to Mexico, all the uncles and aunts will be there, and they will have a black and white photo taken in front of the tomb with flowers shaped like spears in a white vase because this is how they send the dead away in that country.
Hamadi
Dear Ms. Vander Velde,
In the story when the dad said to the boy that the grandfather is died is an external.Because he said it out loud to the boy.
From,
Elsad
Dear Ms.VanderVelde,
When his dad tells him that his grandpa is dead that part is external because everyone in that room can hear what he is saying so is the part when his dad cries right in front of him. when he talks about his dad combs his hair with water and leaving before they wake up that part is internal and so is when he says that he will have to tell the others to be quiet and not play today because he is thinking that in is mind and no one can hear that except the person thinking.
Sincerley,
Kaylee
Dear Ms. V,
I liked the passage of Papa Who Wakes Up Tired In The Dark. It had both internal and external. One of the internal parts were when she thought about that papa would have to go to Mexico. One external part was when papa told the girl her grandpa was dead.
Jody
Dear Miss V,
I think that the part that says,
"Your abuelito is dead, Papa says early one morning in my room. Esta muerto, and then as if he just heard the news himself, crumples like a coat and cries, my brave papa cries. I have never seen my Papa cry and don't know what to do."
Is one of the external parts of the story because this is happening in the real world and anybody can hear it because it's not in someone's head.
I think that the part that says,
"I have never seen my Papa cry and don't know what to do.I know he will have to go away, that he will take a plane to Mexico, all the uncles and aunts will be there, and they will have a black and white photo taken in front of the tomb with flowers shaped like spears in a white vase because this is how they send the dead away in that country. Because I am the oldest, my father has told me first, and now it is my turn to tell the others. I will have to explain why we can't play. I will have to tell them to be quiet today.My Papa, his thick hands and thick shoes, who wakes up tired in the dark, who combs his hair with water, drinks his coffee, and is gone before we wake, today is sitting on my bed. And I think if my own Papa died what would I do. I hold my Papa in my arms. I hold and hold and hold him.This is the internal part of the story because this is going through the characters head and no one can hear it.
From,
Dany
Dear Hamadi,
I love how you really explained and described what you thought.Your comment on internal and external project.
From,
Cheyanne
Dear Ms.V,
The part where it said your abuelito is dead is a external piece and the other external pieces are the first,third,and forth paragraph and the internal pieces are the second sentence.
Sincerely,
Richard
Dear Cheyanne,
Thank you for your nice comment
Hamadi
Dear Cheyanne,
I loved how you discribed what was internal and what was external.Also I liked how you included the authors name.
From,
Dany
Dear Ms.V,
I think using this internal external method for writing is pretty helpful like you Ms.V.I think that this is cool because I can relate to it to when my grandpa died and me feeling the same as hers.
Lupita
Dear Dany,
Beautiful, beautiful writing! You are a superstar writer!
Sincerely,
Cheyanne
Dear Ms.VanderVelde,
When the dad tells that their grandfather is dead it is external because she can hear it.When she says she will have to tell the others it is internal because she is going to do this.Internal is when you say it in your mind and external is when you say it aloud or someone can here you.
From,
Mirican
Dear Dany,
Beautiful, beautiful writing! You are a superstar writer!
Sincerely,
Cheyanne
Dear Ms.V,
I think that when her dad is telling her that her grandpa is dead is external because he is telling her and she can hear it and when she is thinking that if her own dad died she would hold and hold and hold him is internal because she is thinking it!
From, Angelica
Dear Ms.V,
The external is when papa combs his hair with water and drinks his coffee.Thats the external because you can see whats happening .The internal is where the boy thinking because you can not see whats happening.
your friend
Angelica
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